


Thor Learns About Halloween

by Roberly



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Costumes, Gen, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Thor conflates Halloween and Samhain, Thor doesn't get Earth customs, Trick or Treating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-27 15:14:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8406661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roberly/pseuds/Roberly
Summary: Darcy takes Thor trick-or-treating. It goes about as well as you'd expect.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I blame my spouse-person for this. It was his idea, I mostly just wrote it up and added a few embellishments of my own.

Darcy adjusted the cardboard box, looking in the mirror one last time. She wasn't entirely sure why she had agreed to do this, but this was no time to back out. She emerged from the bathroom to find Thor in the living room in full battle regalia. 

"Ready to trick or treat?" she asked.

"Indeed!" shouted Thor, brandishing his hammer. "Let us vanquish our enemies!"

"Fantastic," said Darcy. "Would you open the door? This refrigerator box is hard to move in."

"Of course, Lady Darcy! I am honored to be accompanied by you on this hallowed evening. It will indeed be glorious to commemorate the battles of our ancestors by claiming prizes in the form of this Halloween candy." Thor ushered Darcy out the door and to the elevator. 

***

Darcy winced as Thor rang someone's doorbell with all the vigor of an Asgardian warrior. When the door opened to reveal a middle-aged woman dressed as a witch, he bellowed, "Wench, I demand spoils of war or we shall pillage your home!" 

"Thor!" shrieked Darcy, the cardboard door to her "freezer" head flapping wildly, "It's 'trick or treat,' not threats of violence!" 

"But you told me that if we were not given our rightful spoils of war, we were to take our vengeance," said Thor, looking confused.

Darcy groaned and turned to the very alarmed witch. "I'm sorry," she said. "He's not from around here; it's his first Halloween."

"That's-that's fine," the woman stammered. "It'll make a great story at my book group. I think. Um, help yourselves?" She offered a bowl filled with candy bars. 

"Thor, you take one," Darcy instructed. "You need to leave some for the other kids."

For once, Thor did as he was told and took only one candy bar for his bag. "Thank you, gracious lady," he said, bowing to her. "It is an honor to accept your tribute."

When the door closed, Darcy groaned. "Well, that couldn't have gone worse."

***

"Thor, this isn't a competition!" Darcy protested.

"Nonsense, does not the bravest warrior gain the most loot?" Thor asked. 

"You didn't have to threaten that kid."

"He was dressed as my brother; he was obviously in league with our enemies."

"He was six!"

***

Darcy wiggled out of her refrigerator box and collapsed on her couch. "I am never, ever doing that again," she muttered.

Jane wandered out of her room. "Hey, how did it go?"

"We obtained our fair share of the loot, no matter what Lady Darcy says to the contrary!" Thor declared, holding out a large bag filled with candy.

"Okay," said Jane. "Can I have one of those Butterfingers?"


End file.
